


Bryan, you ruined it! (August Angst 2020)

by volnaib



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: August Angst, F/M, Rey-venge of the Sith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:15:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26062531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volnaib/pseuds/volnaib
Summary: A collection of tiny sad TROS-related fics, mostly featuring Kylo Ren and Rey.These are separate short stories for the August Angst challenge, some of which are follow-ups to each other, and as a whole they tend to go as a "what might have been" thing.(The title comes from the relevant HISHE episode.)
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: Reylo, reylo trash





	1. The Oracle

**Author's Note:**

> This is not August Angst proper, because there was no external prompts list, the stories are only angsty in the "what might have been" way, many of them are too light-hearted, at least one of these is pure crack, and, let's be honest, not all of the ideas were written down in August. But still, here we are: Episode IX has failed to meet so many of my expectations that my quota for true authentic angst for this year is already full.  
> Let the sadness (if there is any) ultimately be the means for uplifting of hearts.
> 
> Note: For most of the entries rating goes around T, but some jokes might seem inappropriate, so for sanity's sakes I'm leaving it as M.
> 
> All chapters are un-beta'd, so feel free to point out any mistakes you notice. The amount of research and fact-checking conducted for this writing challenge was around zero. (TRoS taught me it's okay.)

Mustafar is a meaningful place, for it was the very planet which housed Darth Vader's stronghold. The planet where he fought his master, the one where he suffered pain, the one where he wielded real power.

Kylo hates it.

He came here to retrieve the Sith holocron from the Vader cultists which, in his opinion, they should have brought him with at least a semblance of respect, given his lineage and current position in the chain of command of the First Order, the offspring of the Empire. He is in every way the heir of Vader, literally and metaphorically speaking.

Instead, these people mock him.

"We are not giving you anything," says one of their priests, too crude-speaking for both a leader and one claiming to be a religious man. "You know how many of your lot come here telling us they're his long lost son, brother, nephew, granddaughter (and this one had kriffing moustache!), heir, neighbour, drinking buddy... We're getting tired of throwing their sorry butts out of here." He chuckles, eyeing Kylo from head to toe. "Want my advice? Get lost while you still can, boy."

"I have no need of your advices," Kylo says almost levelly. "I came here for the holocron, which I will take whether with your assistance or without it. It is in your best interests to provide me with either the artifact itself or its whereabouts."

What he might add internally is _I am thirty years old, would you all please be so kind to refrain from addressing me as a boy, or I swear one day I will stop tolerating it and will burn everything to ashes._

The priest sighs.

"As I was saying, boy--"

After Kylo has razed the place to the ground, he seizes the holocron and is on his way to leave the horrid place behind when he hears a strange noise, like air escaping through a small crack in a hull.

He stops, scowls. Nothing; hence he keeps walking. 

"Pssssst!", louder. 

And it feels like it is someone calling him in such a weird manner, so out of sheer curiousity he follows the call. 

In no time he finds the Oracle, whose appearance bears the likeness of a spider perched atop of something resembling a tremendous baby's head. In one word, it's disgusting. As a way of greeting, the Oracle scolds Kylo for making a mess of the place. "Is nothing sacred anymore?" he (she? it?) asks rhetorically, and then goes straight to the point.

"She'll be the death of you."

Kylo pauses for a moment, dumbfounded and even a little daunted (which he would never admit, even to himself); somehow he knows exactly who they're talking about, and that fills his next words with heavy resignation.

"I know, and I accept this."

The spider smiles. "Ah, but did you ask her if _she_ would?"

Kylo blinks and fights the urge to shake his head. "If she kills me, it must be a conscious decision."

The Orcale looks intently at him before asking him silkily, "Have you learned nothing?"

His father's face, bathed in red light amongst the shadows surrounding them both, flashes in his mind's eye, and he almost reels with a scream, "It's different!"

"In what way exactly? Now, you don't have to answer. Because the answer is _in no meaningful way,_ and you know it."

The spider looks thoughtful as it studies him, drumming its long bony fingers on those of its opposite hand, which creeps Kylo out.

"There are choices ahead of you, and not ones that you could make lightly, even if some of them repeat ones from your past. You know you cannot have both of your heart desires fulfilled together in the same timespan."

"I'll deal with them one by one, then."

"Say you succeed with the first one. Now, you come to her and find out she is forty years into a relatively happy marriage with another man and having ten kids and grandkids--"

"So what?!" Kylo bursts, unable to contain his swirl of emotions anymore. "It's her own way, her decisions, I don't need to interfere with her personal life--"

"But you love her."

"Shut up," he whispers, suddenly mortified.

"...and you want her to be yours only."

He shakes his head as he considers simply walking out of this conversation.

The Orcale proceeds, somehow keeping him glued to the spot he's standing on; some Force technique, no doubt, a subtle mind trick instead of telekinesis to make him think that listening to the creature is in accordance with his own will. "And when you make the right choice, you'll make it keeping _her_ in mind. But on the path you're on now, it happens too late, and neither your decision nor your death will give her any consolation."

Now Kylo is set free, and he stomps away, furious. After several steps he hears the Oracle calling in a merry voice from behind his back: " _Priorities,_ sir!"

Thinking it over in his shuttle, Kylo bares his teeth as he says to himself: _Well, maybe I do love her. So what?! It doesn't change anything. Does it?.._

In the end, it changes literally everything.


	2. These are the droids you're seeking for

It started with C3PO and the Jedi texts: as Rey sat pondering over the ancient paper books and thought for a hundredth time already that these would be more useful as a fuel for fire rather than for enlightening one's mind, the protocol droid appeared by her side, reminding her that he speaks a gazillion of languages. Her request to prove himself was met with such hot enthusiasm that Rey's datapad got quickly filled with numerous variants of translations and connected meta information. Many passages seemed to be well explained - understandable, at least; many more were still as cryptic as before their conversion into Basic. Threepio mentioned that it would've been easier to comprehend these if Order 66 had never been executed. Rey asked if he knew anything about Vader from before, like, before he actually became the Dark Lord of the Sith. He had no memories of Anakin Skywalker of his own, the droid said, but there was a little bit of data from old archives where the Jedi Anakin was mentioned.

Alas! As the two of them tried to retrieve and review information from the old storage units installed inside Threepio's body, it occurred that records for the most part were corrupted. From those that were salvageable, Rey learned nothing new.

Later, as she was fiddling with old power converters and R2D2 was watching, she couldn't help but muse aloud:

"Everyone knows him as Darth Vader, but what he was like when he was just Anakin? I wonder. There are almost no records available, no memories. As if he just perished from existence along with the other Jedi, and then got erased completely. Was he a good pilot back then? Did he have students of his own? Did he snore in his sleep?" 

" _He did_ ," Artoo cut in.

Rey halted, brow furrowed: "How do you know?" 

" _I used to spend night cycles in his quarters_ ," the astromech chirped.

"Wait, whut. How-- Back when he was Anakin? You knew him even then? Are we talking about the Jedi version? How did you meet him?"

" _He made me._ "

Rey made a low whistle. "Wow. So-- Ha, you say he snored?" 

" _He did, but not every night._ " 

"What else can you tell me about his night habits?" She asked, laughing, eyes wide. 

" _He used to produce many different sounds at night. I have some of them in my data banks._ " And he proceeded, replaying the ancient records (low bitrate, much noise) and commenting on each one: " _This is him snoring. Here he is talking before going to sleep. And here are the noises he makes while replicating._ " 

"Oh dang," Rey gasped, clamping her hand over her mouth and blushing fiercely. She waved her hands desperately in front of her before finally managing to ask the droid properly to turn it off.

"Uh. So you have all this information, and-- who else got it from you?"

" _No one asked me,_ " Artoo answered nonchalantly. " _Foolish skinsacks._ " 

"And you didn't tell anyone that you have such info."

" _Who would listen to a droid? Maybe a crazy girl who has nothing better to do._ "

Rey shook her head with no small amount of exasperation. "Did Anakin program this attitude for you?"

" _Mmmaybe._ "

"Okay, so you had like the whole life of him passing before your sensors. What else can you tell me about him?"

" _Not much. A whole life needs a lot of storage capacity, which I don't possess. Also, I had a memory wipe once or twice. But it was an ordinary formatting procedure, not one with replacing the storage unit with a new one. So some data remained. It is of poor quality, but not lost entirely yet._ "

Much later, after considerable research, Rey called Kylo through the bond, to talk about "legacy and stuff" as she put it. He had already enlightened her on her little Palpatine situation, so he got the wrong sense of whose lineage she was about to discuss. She showed him some of the records where Anakin was very humane; saved for the end were a couple of the most treasurous ones. The ones where he talked to Padme. Where they laughed together. Where they whispered about their dreams of their future - their common future. Their kids, and maybe even grandkids. She heard Kylo making a noise that sounded a bit like sniffling once, and then he slammed the connection shut.

She met him again in a month - in person, accidentally stumbling upon him when they were both making their separate incognito journeys to Naboo and the lands of their respective ancestors.

"I'm sorry I want to kill your grandfather," he said abruptly, without meeting her eyes.

"I'm sorry I don't know him enough to feel even remotely sad about it," she replied wryly. "He's never even talked to me."

"I thought I used to hear my grandfather's voice in my head," Kylo mused. "Apparently, it was your grandfather talking to me all along. Mine was silent."

"I don't even know who of them is more screwed up, then," she scoffed. "Maybe both."

"Perhaps. That makes us quite a pair, doesn't it?"

"It does," she agreed with a sad smile. "Want to talk about it?"

"I do."

And they walked side by side, their heads inclined towards each other in a most conspirational fashion, the woods keeping their secret and covering an occasional laugh or scoff that managed to slip past the lee of their hoods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that AO3 has no queuing mechanism makes me sad.


	3. Throw me to the wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone here remembers Kylo Ren's Spotify playlist?  
> Because this piece is inspired by Bring Me The Horizon - Throne.

Hux stages a coup soon after Crait.

It's such a small wonder, yet still, it stings; he manages to bring the plan to fruition even before the Knights are summoned. 

After his success, which is mostly due to Kylo being largely unpopular in the high chain of command and not to any of Hux's own virtues, the ginger git of a general literally _throws_ Kylo. To the dathomirian witches, who in turn will throw him into a rancor pit, so he is as good as dead, as Hux tells his fellow generals and admirals. He proposes them a collegial kind of leadership-- surely, with hopes to eventually eliminate it and remain as the sole head of the First Order.

Speaking of rancors, Kylo is anything but eaten by a bipedal predator. He uses a chance to talk to the witches and persuades them to engage in a quid pro quo kind of deal. It is a well-known fact nowadays that a big military party consisting of giants has a firm intention of conducting a full-scale invasion on Dathomir; the giants' scouts have found on this less-than-affable planet some artifacts that belong to their culture, which, in their language, means "This planet is ours" and, consequently, "We bring war". A crusade, so to speak. Not a kind which any First Order (or a Republic, for that matter) official would feel needs meddling with.

Thankfully, Kylo is none of your average officials.

In exchange for his life (considering that witches don't get any meaningful profit for either killing or saving him) and a little help in his future dealings, Kylo promises the dathomirians that this enmity of their peoples would be over, and that, as he put it, "At the end of the day, you will fight side by side".

Most of his judges refused to believe a single word of his, which is understandable. Thankfully, a couple of priestesses were curious enough to see him to negotiate, most probably so they could return to Dathomir afterwards with a very detailed tale of detached limbs and all the horrors the foolish man would have had to endure. Now, as he disembarks from their rust bucket of a ship, flanked by the two witches, the younger one of them finally asks: "How are you going to persuade them? Have you ever met any of this folk? They are not giants as in very tall people. They are mammoth. Their infant would be bigger than you are. They would stomp on you, and that will be it for you."

"I know," Kylo drawls, donning a replica of his helmet on. "These are the same people I have already had negotiations with."

"Were these successful?" the witch scoffs.

"They were."

He then meets with the elders of the tribe, discussing the terms of their future cooperation. After that, he comes out before a silent gathering of what seems to be hundreds of massive, towering figures.

"I am Kylo Ren, the Godslayer," he declares. "Do you remember your vows?"

A thunderous cry of the gathering ascends to the skies.

"Your war with Dathomir ends today." Another roar from the crowd, which he has to quickly follow with, "In peace! I have seen to it that all your hallows are brought back to you with all the due rites."

The growls that follow are not cheerful ones; bared teeth flash in anger.

"Your First Order invades our lands, brings dirt to our waters, frightens away our game," yells one of the giants. "And now you take away our war from us?"

"You want blood?" Kylo bawls out in reply. The crowd screams its assent. "You shall have it! The invaders you speak of have betrayed the First Order itself, yet claim to be a part of it. Come with me, and revenge will be yours!"

The noise made by the giants stomping, roaring, shaking spears is that of a half-thousand of rabid rancors. The younger witch bites her bottom lip, drawing blood.

***

The military parade announcement popping up all over HoloNet shows Hux to be in charge, which proves the suspicions of the Resistance heads to be true: Kylo Ren is no longer the Supreme Leader. These guys have played their game of thrones which resulted in yet another shift in the hierarchy. Now is the best time to strike, Poe Dameron urges on. Even though the forces of the Resistance are still minuscule after the Battle of Crait, this is the chance to make things right without sacrificing much. If everything goes according to the plan, the First Order's reputation will be busted, and those people that were afraid to withstand them openly might join the ranks of the good guys.

Rey's hesitation has several reasons behind it; one of them she won't disclose, since it sounds lame even to her own consciousness. She doesn't want to confront Kylo right now, and not only because they are sort of arch-nemeses right now, but also because she felt it through the bond, the moment he was betrayed, the moment he got into real big trouble; and when he had time to think about the situation he has gotten himself into, his mind briefly flared with a thought, _I hope she is safe now._ And Rey has absolutely no freaking idea what to do with arch-enemies who care about your well-being. So, when she notices that Kylo is nowhere to be seen on the vid, relief washes over her and she agrees to participate in the operation.

The small pack of Resistance fighters, armed with explosives, silently filter out from their transport ship and spread out across one of the lower decks of the Super Star Destroyer where the main event takes place.

The parade is transmitted online over Holonet and goes on for about a half of a standard hour when the unmistakable voice of the previous Supreme Leader booms over the ship's broadcasting system, the essence of the message being _Give Hux over and no one gets overly hurt_.

Rey hisses and tells Poe they should run the hell away from here as fast as they can; as he tells her that actually no, they can't, the explosives are not yet installed and they just can't throw this chance away, Hux cries furiously: "Don't listen to that madman!" Shortly after, Kylo's voice, now impassive, is once again heard all over the ship: "I will show you 'mad', _general_ Hux. In half of an hour. For the others, I would recommend to flee." 

Half an hour later, just as the Resistance team has finished installing explosives all around and are running back to their transport to get lost as soon as technically possible, a big party of stormtroopers patrolling the territory encircles them, leaving no way out.

At the same time, a horde of barbaric-looking giants, accompanied by a considerable number of witches on rancors, teleport right in the middle of the very deck where the parade takes place.

Kylo Ren - riding a dathomirian beast as well - points a finger at Hux and bellows, "Get him."

The bomb timers go off.

All hell breaks loose.

***

In summation, after the parade incident they have the following:

Reputation of the First Order and its commanders, as the innards of their most powerful SSD: blown into smithereens.

Rancor riders and giants still hate each other: check.

Hux: is alive and AWOL.

The Resistance strike team: same.

A Force-bond session with Rey several hours later: she swears loudly, yells at him, slaps him on the face, and eventually ends up crying into his neck while embracing him violently and clenching fists full of his hair.

  
So, Kylo thinks to himself in a state of complacency, in general, the most important things are still salvageable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The giants are from the pre-TROS comic, one of the Age of Resistance one-shots, if I recall correct. The one where Kylo allegedly finishes a thing which Vader started. (And no, there was not a word about them holding a grudge against the witches of Dathomir, I made this one up.)  
> Also, "We bring war" is a not-so-subtle nod to Az-Laar from Middle-Earth: Shadow of War.


	4. Sandrider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear script-writers, whenever you use a giant sandworm in your work, better go full Dune for authenticity reasons.  
> Song to listen to: Star One - Sandrider

They walk upon the searing hot sand of Pasaana, and despite the familiar feeling - a Jakku rat, still, isn't she - deep inside her chest sits a strong premonition of something big to come. Something important is going to happen to her today; yes, she is the last Jedi and the whole First Order is probably on the run after her right freaking now, and her party searches for something that might provide them with a clue to her childhood memories (other than those of her drunkard parents leaving her in the clutches of Plutt; surely there was some other reason for them to do it, not only drinking money, right? Right? _Ben's voice of reason in my head, please kindly shut up_ ), but _this_ important thing is about a new and fresh feeling, fresh even amongst these hot dunes. It blossoms in her chest. It frightens her. And it is beautiful.

 _This is far from beautiful,_ her inner voice helpfully supplies when they all start to submerge in the quicksand. 

_What was Finn trying to tell me?_ she finds herself wondering as her lungs protest in the lack of oxygen. 

_Is this the only thing that bothers you right now?_ the inner voice counters as she shakes the sand off, having fallen down and now standing in the middle of a dark cavern. _I'll tell you, then. "Use the Force, you stupid girl!" That's what.  
_

She ignores it in favor of taking in her surroundings and thinking of a way out.

Until her mind halts as they run into the giant serpent.

She feels her friends' urge to kill the creature, but - all of a sudden - she knows there's a better way of dealing with the situation. This monster is wounded and is in great pain, and she feels that trying to help it is worth the risk. 

_You have a thing for murderous snakes, don't you?_ the inner voice says wryly. 

_He is suffering,_ her consciousness replies. 

_Yeah, right, that's what you keep telling yourself._

Rey tries to clear her mind and open up to the Force. _Don't be afraid,_ she recites in her head, not knowing if she is talking to the snake or herself. Time stretches out; she feels Finn and Poe behind her, their fear - for her, not for themselves - palpable in the currents of the Force, the same currents going around and through her body and limbs, through her hand into the flesh of the sand serpent. She heals it - heals it for real, yet her excitement is filed away for later because _peace-serenity-and-all-the-Jedi-crap_ , - but as she does so a wild thought hits her brain: this creature waits for her to finish the ministrations like if it had a rational mind; and if it does, could this strong body house a soul that is able to feel gratitude - not that she is helping it in order to gain something useful in return, but what if--

She feels a spark in the snake's mind, ignited by her own thoughts. Without her thinking about it, her lips curve into a smile.

\--

In his TIE Silencer, Kylo feels her. Part of him wants to run her down for everything she's done to his soul and mind - and she keeps running away from him, like he is the one who's tearing her apart! Another part wants to fall on his knees before her and pray her to never leave him because she is that crucial element that keeps him whole and sane whenever she's near. As of now, the first part prevails.

And as he approaches, following her Force signature, he notices the whirl of emotions she's experiencing right now, which is not an unusual thing for one standing in the beginning of their Jedi path, without having fully mastered the "no passion" principles of this frankly militaristic religious order. 

But we digress. 

The next thing he senses is that she is traveling with a great speed. After that, he sees the clouds of dust. Then, her. Crouched upon a giant sand snake that is going to meet his craft head-on at tremendous speed of its own, not to mention the part of equation where his own velocity is taken into consideration. Then, through the dust, he sees the others - tiny figures in dark robes, a small local people looking much like the Jawas from Tatooine. All of them use giant snakes for mounts, as well. Then, without actually hearing it through the roar of his engines, Kylo feels it inside his head: the thundering chant of these wild desert dwellers.

"Sand-ri-der! U-ni-ter!"

He is in awe. 

Who needs the Jedi? She's just made a cult of her own, with a number of murderous zealots for followers.

As he mulls over this thought, her damned train of a snake tears off the left wing of his Silencer, so he himself and the other wing tumble over the sand without any hope of correcting the trajectory. When he gets out from the remains of his burning craft to face the girl that has just jumped off her enourmous steed, Kylo knows he is busted. She's just made an attempt on his life, and he...

He's so hopelessly in love.


	5. Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW body horror (or how do you call it in English).

Maybe it's just a bad day, or maybe it's just his life and he had it coming, but Kylo suffers an accident: his TIE Silencer lands really hard. The less-than-controlled falling is not unexpected: his craft has glitches in all the onboard computer systems that are still intact after getting hit with Force lightning cast by none other than Rey of Light, the purest Jedi this Galaxy has ever known. This is the second time she electrocutes one of his flying vessels, and this time he has the luck to be inside one, moving ahead with considerable speed.

Due to horrible aerodynamics (a particular characteristic of most of the modern First Order spacecraft, compensated by the high-end onboard flight control systems), it falls down like a ball of steel, caught aflame as he scrambles outside. As he throws off his burning cloak, his brain registers that its master is mostly unscathed and commands the hormonal system to let a dose of endorphins into his bloodstream-- this quick moment of absent-minded elation is what brings him into ruins. A strange sound from the fiery mound that was his prized Silencer craft only minutes ago catches his attention and he makes the grave mistake of turning around to look at it instead of running away as fast as he can.

The black scrap of metal, turned into a missile by the impetus given to it by the explosion wave and going right into his head, is literally the last thing he sees.

After considerable time spent recovering in the medbay and consulting the best doctors at his command (and even outside of it), Ren seems to be at peace with his fate, as far as his stubborn nature would let it be. Which means the following: the doctors are again reminded of all the vows of secrecy they've given; no living thing is allowed to see him without one of his (identical) helmets on; his training in the Force is the most important and time-consuming item on his schedule.

The most irritating thing is, it's easier for him to properly function with people around him. He just has to walk with intimidating stride, faceless mask staring ahead, cloak billowing, and skim over the surfaces of minds of those passing by. They fear him enough to not resist a little of uncharacteristically light mental probing - nothing personal, no deeper thoughts, mostly just how they take in their surroundings. He also wears a device with silent vibrating approach detector on his wrist, just in case.

Life goes on, even if it is a far cry from a comfortable one.

One day, he meets Rey again. They fight long enough that she starts mocking him, telling him he's gotten sloppy - _What happened, I wonder? Getting old?_

No long time passes, and instead of using swords they fight with their words, and again as he tries to tell her he's doing everything right, that he's trying to bring order to the chaos, to improve First Order from the inside, she yells at him, refusing to believe, to trust him. 

"You are blind, Kylo Ren!" she cries. 

He almost scoffs at it. 

In a tirade that ensues she mentions that he wears his helmet again, "this terrible thing", and when he offers to lift it from his face ("Are you sure you want me to do it?") she, in her defiance (though at this point she doesn't really care but senses that the request disturbs him somewhat), says that yes, she wants it removed. He does so. Her hand flies to her mouth as she gasps - which is not surprising at all - and she flinches, caught somewhere in the middle between fear and revulsion as she stares at his eyes, or rather at what is left of these; then, still unsurprisingly, he feels her pitying him; now she would run away, like she always does, without any parting words. Instead - and this takes him off-guard - she steels herself, willing her legs to stay where they are and not carry her away as her blood must scream at her to do; makes herself keep looking at him, keep thinking of what this all means, of what her part in it is. She is so shaken that she makes no attempt to shield her thoughts and feelings; he collects it all through the bond. She wonders how could he fight - she has called him sloppy, hasn't she? - if he couldn't _see_ her at all; how he doesn't want her head detached from her body, seeing that it was her attack that led to him losing his sight without a chance of restoring it; how the irony was not lost on him when she blamed him for not seeing anything.

She takes a step forward and touches his scarred cheek with her hand. 

"I'm so sorry," she says quietly, and through the bond he feels tears in her eyes as clear as he hears those in her voice; they are sincere, he can tell.

This was the turning point. Later on, after a heartfelt conversation or two, or more, after war against the Final Order of Palpatine, after peace they brought about - together - a stray thought hits him. No single fight or talk, no pleas nor threats could do the thing that was ultimately paid for by a pair of his eyes; after that particular encounter she started listening to him, and it changed everything; he thinks that if this was the price he had to pay, then be it. Was worth it, in the grand scheme of things. A part of his body is but an expendable loss.

As he ponders on it, wind ruffling his hair, Rey sits beside him, frames his face with her hands and pulls him closer, puts a chaste kiss on his lips and pulls further to whisper into his ear the words he never dared to dream of.

"I will be your eyes. Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I remember, the "I will be your eyes" phrase originates from one of Isaac Azimov's short stories.  
> P.S. TIE Silencer: Skunk Works is strong with this one.


	6. No one but yourself

Amongst the ruins of the infamous space weapon, in the very throne room of Palpatine, Ren senses the darkness boiling in the Emperor's granddaughter as he crushes her wayfinder in his fist. The darkness is about to spill over the edge as he tells her that she'll only be going to the dreadful planet with him. So he starts cornering her physically, he mocks her, he provokes her, - all sensing her unhinged state.

"I feel the Shadow in you," he informs her. Just like the original Ren felt one within a boy named Ben Solo all those years ago.

"How does it feel for a Jedi to bear a dark seed inside your soul? Are you giving in to the Dark Side yet? Don't fight it," he says, keeping the rhythm of their deadly dance as they cross their lightsabers again and again. "Give up," he strikes. "Give in," he deflects. "It's the only way. Your friends will all die, that's inevitable, they're all expendable losses," he continues, searching her face, not sure if he should be satisfied with what he finds. So he presses on. 

"You have no home. Your only family is the Emperor of Evil. It's only fair that you join his side, as his spawn, as one who bears his power inside - and none of her own."

Rey finally answers him through gritted teeth. "I'm more than that, you sonova--"

"You should show more respect to your general," he cuts in, having had a little breather. "You're her tool in this war, are you not? Does she know of your legacy? If yes, does she use you with the revulsion she feels towards the Emperor, the blood of your blood?"

Rey exhales more forcefully than before. Ren takes it as a sign that he's getting under her skin. Just need to dig deeper than that. "If no, what will she say when she learns of it? What will _you_ say?" He gives her a little time to consider it. 

"How will you look in the eyes of all those people around you, the ones you called your friends and family, when they learn the truth? That you don't belong there? That you're worse than the No-One Girl from Jakku that they know? You _will_ be all alone again, Rey," he says almost quietly, with a hint of regret in his voice. 

"What will you do then? Will you cry like a little girl that saw the ship flying away?" He sees her eyes getting a wet glint at the memory he plucked out of her head on the Starkiller base, a million years ago, it feels. "Will you pity yourself? Will you run away again, like you always do?" Until now, he has tried to keep his voice as level as he could, despite the fact their lightsabers scream every time they meet, hovering mere inches from their flesh. Now, he gradually raises his voice until he yells at the top of his lungs.

"Because it's easier this way, to turn your back to the problems and pretend they're not there! You may call yourself a Jedi, but that's not who you are. Neither Sith nor Jedi, you're just a dirty sand rat, that's who you are! You're no one! You're nothing! And you will forever stay that way, because you're afraid of--"

And there she hits him really hard, crackling violet energy emitting from her fingers. Wind is knocked out of his lungs; he flies several meters backwards, until his body connects with the floor with a dull yet loud thud. He sees nothing for a while, and then he feels her and hears her as she climbs on his chest and starts smashing her fists into the sides of his face.

 _Good, that's good,_ \- his mind produces in a flash, and then goes blank as he just lies there and lets her punch his head into the metal floor of the dead space station.

Ren comes to his senses again when he hears a change in the sound; he belatedly notices that she has stopped striking him, and now she is trembling as her sobs resonate through her body and she is holding her blood-red fists to her mouth like a child who has just said something really wrong and is now trying to cover the traitorous lips. She looks at him, and she doesn't want to see what she's just done, and yet she can't look away, so he takes her hands in his, and pulls her close (her position must be very uncomfortable but she does nothing to move her center of gravity, and he has no strength to fix it for her), so that she doesn't have to look at him - at yet another deed of her hands upon his face, - and holds her in his arms, stroking her hair like a child's, his neck all wet with her tears.

"Listen to me now," he whispers (and not only because the moment asks for it, but also because he feels totally out of breath). "Remember that night when you told me about that mirror cave? When you came there and asked it to show you your parents? You thought it was about to do just so, and then there was nothing but your own reflection. Do you know what that means?" He waits for the question to sink in. "That means you're you. You are the only person who defines your own self. Not your parents. Nor your grandparents, aunts, uncles. You forge your own destiny. You've come so far-- you are the strongest woman I know." He lets himself rest for a while; he's not usually that talkative, but he needs to say it all aloud now - needs her to hear him out. "And yet somehow you're so much more afraid than the girl I met in the forest; you let your fears seize your mind and guide you." 

Which is a path to the Dark Side, one would say. Instead, he lets her come to this conclusion herself; she's quick, even in her current frail, still unhinged state.

"You don't need to follow this path. You say no one understands you, Rey, but I do. Because I've been there, where you are now, and there was no one for me who could really change the course of things. And if all of it - everything that has ever happened in my life had only this one purpose, for me to tell you this, then I say: it was worth it."

She stops sniffling for a little while, and lets out a quiet, shaky breath: "Tell me what, Ben?"

"Don't go this way, Rey. Please. Not this way."


	7. Hux is the spy

Hux studies the faces of the main adversaries of the First Order before him - the foul-mouthed pilot, the deserter, and the walking carpet, - and entertains a moment imagining how they would look like if he just took a heavy blaster from one of the troopers near him and then shot all the guards. Instead, he instructs them to bring the apprehended back to prison where the Wookie has been held before.

"But, sir," ventures the officer. "The Supreme Leader gave order to terminate every Resistance combatant on this ship, excluding--"

"He gave no such orders," Hux barks. "Your data is flawed."

"General, the Jedi," the officer keeps pressing his line. "She was seen on the ship."

"Ah, excellent," Hux gives a half-hearted attempt of a smile. "Then these dirty friends of hers will be a perfect bait to lure her out. Escort them to the containment unit. Now!"

The guards have no other choice but to follow his orders, and it is only logical; most recent history has proved that the Supreme Leader is but a temporal thing; while Hux is permanent.

The prisoners are escorted back to - ironically - where they've just left from, and Hux oversees it; upon arrival he sends one of the two guards stationed there to the tech room, mentioning that one of the cameras in the corridor had no red light - it's probably off and needs fixing. He then approaches the shielded see-through doors of the unit, looks at the ceiling and tells FN-2187 in a conversational manner, "You have no ways of escaping this cell. Surely there's no plasma torch hidden in there somewhere." 

The former stormtrooper bristles and starts to growl something back at him but the pilot shuts him up and tells Hux to repeat himself. Realization starts to dawn on the trooper's face: "Wait... are you saying you're helping us?" 

"Stop talking and start thinking, you unwitted piece of rebel scum," the general grits through clenched teeth. "I've said what was intended. Make of it what you will." 

FN-2187 opens his mouth, only for it to be shut up by Dameron again, addressing Hux: "Why are you doing this? Why..." he proceeds with a knowing smirk, low voice. "Why _have_ you been doing this?"

"Because," Hux lowers his voice, too, as he moves to stand with his nose nearly pressed to the door, "our mutual acquaintance in a position of power is a _madman_ , currently going down and dragging everything and everyone along with him. I feel no inclination to accompany him on such a journey, and I believe no one does. I hope this will satisfy your curiosity, so you could focus on your own state of affairs." He takes a step backwards. "...And you really need to act fast." 

With that, Hux turns on his heel and marches out.

He doesn't need to put up much of an act on the command board when he shouts out a kill-on-sight order upon seeing the trio running down the corridors on a surveillance camera feed.

He also has enough sense to quickly and quietly evacuate himself from the flagship when the First Order transforms impetuously into Final Disorder, then leave behind all the tracking devices that might remain with the escape shuttle and proceed warily from one emergency stop to the other, all mapped out in his head.

He spends the days and months of post-war tumult moving between several of his safehouses, until he finally settles in on a small but functional villa on Endor, living a life surprisingly quiet for such an unexpectedly retired general.

And all has been good and well, until one day he gets a pair of newly-weds for neighbours. It could've been a tolerable experience due to the large chunks of land separating villas in the region, if not for one "but".

These two just _have_ to be the exact same insane space wizards he foolishly thought were excluded from his life once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone deserves a happy ending. Even Hux.


	8. Offer

Ren stands in the center of an immense auditorium, speaking to the New Senate of the remnants of the New Republic, while the head of the said Senate looks down her nose on him - literally, since she presides on a balcony. After reading aloud the First Order's proposal for cessation of arms (which contained clauses stating that neither First Order nor the Resistance soldiers and officers are to be treated as war criminals, both are allowed to be elected for senatorial positions, and so on), Head Senator narrows her eyes at him:

"Really, Supreme Leader? After all you've done, you have the nerve to come here and propose _this_? What about all the people you and your Order have wiped out? Like those on Hosnian Prime, for starters. The old Senate, I should remind you, because clearly you have forgotten this tenuous detail." 

Ren doesn't bat an eyelash.

"I remember it quite well, while you, Chancellor, seem to either forget or neglect all the people the Resistance has terminated. For example, 5 200 on Ilum, give or take two hundreds that went AWOL or MIA, or 214 thousands that perished on Fulminatrix, with only a thousand of those who had a chance to evacuate."

"Do I need to explain the difference between enemy combatant losses and attacking civilians to you? My dear, I think you are wasting time - your own and ours as well. I do understand that you come here with a sense of desperation, seeing how your fleet diminishes day by day, but make no mistake - this Senate will neither forgive nor forget these crimes of yours and those of your predecessor."

"Do I need to remind you that this Senate is _useless_ ," Ren says evenly, his heavy breaths belying his calm facade, "seeing how easily it has given itself over to the Empire? But it's the one we have now, so that is why I am talking to you right now."

They keep bickering like this for more than half a standard hour, a jab here and a quip there, until that viper of a senator makes her poisonous strike by mentioning his familial bounds in an unequivocal manner, which will raise many a question not only on the Senate grounds but also in the First Order's chain of command, as this information is something not that many people are privy to. This almost makes Ren lose his temper, which is precisely what she is aiming at. So he counts seconds as he breathes in and then out before answering.

"We have been here before," he starts as dispassionately as he is able, but his anger shows more and more with each phrase that follows, "when your precious Senate dragged my mother's name through dirt not for her own crimes but for the simple fact of her sharing blood with the man _you_ feared." 

Anxious murmur fills the chamber, like a low rumble of thunder, a dark premonition. They don't get it, not all of them, not yet, but they are all tense with anticipation, a form of collective pre-sight, the dreaded sense of "I have a bad feeling".

Let them have it. Let them drown in it.

"Yes, I am the son of Leia Organa." Numerous gasps sounding in unison are followed by several seconds of dead silence, and Ren uses them to delve deeper. "Princess of Alderaan, former Senator, general of both the Rebellion and the Resistance. Daughter of Padme Amidala, Senator and the Queen of Naboo, and Anakin Skywalker, a Jedi and general in the Clone Wars." 

This is the first time he's acknowledged it in public since taking on the mantle of Kylo Ren, and it should feel liberating or maybe both breathtaking and nauseating like falling backwards into the abyss, but he feels none of these things. He presses on, determined to beat one single rational thought into the heads of these fools holding reins in their hands.

"And no, I'm not desperate. First Order has enough firepower to wipe off your New Senate, obliterate the Resistance and rule the galaxy as it seems fit, but this is not my intention. The goal of the First Order is to bring _order_ , not tyranny."

"So your decision is purely ideological," the Chancellor resumes. Her face has a neutral expression, but Ren can tell she's taken aback by his admission, which was extremely far from what she's expected. "You fight for the great justice. Was there anything else that has had influence on that decision of yours?"

Oh, there was. Not something he will share.

\--

It was a very long First Order/Resistance meeting with very few attendants.

"There's nothing you can offer us that will change our mind," Rey said with a heavy sigh, clearly tired of pretending she was _not_ exhausted.

"Unlimited power."

" _Excuse_ me?" Dameron looked up.

"Me and my Knights have acquired control over the Star Forge and the Foundry," Ren declared, his gaze not leaving Rey for a single moment.

The silence stretched on.

"And this is what I offer you," he told her, willing her to understand just how meaningful it was. "You will have no need in the Resistance with these within your grasp."

It seemed Rey had never heard about these two facilities, so she tapped into his mind and saw his own assession of the stations: an amazing source of ultimate power. He proceeded with telling her about his journey to Mustafar, how he had acquired the Sith holocron but hadn't used it as a wayfinder yet, for he felt what waited for him at the destination point; _who_ waited there. _He_ was calling for him like Snoke never had. Promises of greatness - and Super Star Destroyers in myriads, fully manned.

So Ren needed something he could beat Palpatine's Final Order fleet with... And he needed _her_. She was his beacon of light in the world of unending darkness. She would be his guide in this time of uncertainty, when one loses the sight and even comprehension of what is it they're fighting for. 

"Please."

He took off a glove and reached out his hand for a shake. She hesitated for a long time, contemplating, tapping into his mind again, searching for hidden thoughts and signs of malice, thinking everything over and over again. She sighed and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she reached out, too, and for a moment he was again on the Supremacy, his heart clenching in anticipation until she had betrayed his trust, reaching for the lightsaber instead; but now it was different. Now she took his hand, and a thrill went through both of their bodies when they had visions of the future ahead, just like it was when they held hands over the fire she kindled on Ach-To.

And this was the only affirmation he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I did a tiny little bit of research for this one. Because numbers.  
> https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ilum (aka Starkiller Base)  
> https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Fulminatrix  
> I have no idea if the Star Forge and/or Foundry are still intact, since, you know, this is some Knights of the Old Republic stuff. Ask Revan.


	9. He is ours

"Whatever happens, stand your ground! We shall bring this damned impostor down!"

The cry of the admiral drowns in the shattering sounds their shields make as the enemy warship's missiles find their targets. Officers exchange silent glances as they mull over the same thought: chances that the shields will protect them long enough for their turrets to inflict sufficient damage to the enemy ship are very, very slim. Yet still, they can't show a trace of fear; there has been a certain lack of spirit in the crew for the past few hours as the automated inner systems scans kept popping up with new alerts every ten minutes or so; this old thing seems to be kept in one piece by its own good will only.

_They won't make it._

But they will make their last stand as hard an obstacle for the enemy dreadnought as it can get, and even harder. Because this one is not about victory. This is a matter of honor.

With a grim resignation the two warships exchange broadsides, then the enemy one unleashes their TIE squadrons; the Resistance admiral sighs and lets their remaining X-wings and A-wings out, which are not many. The dogfight doesn't go smooth; in fact, it goes really bad, since their squadron gets decimated in a matter of minutes. As members of the crew already mentally say goodbyes to their loved ones, another squadron of X-wings appears from under their bellies, followed close by a pack of TIEs; both of these parties are stray ones, from another part of the battlefield, but this accidental rendezvous - along with the most recent directional data - makes the admiral's face get alight with something akin to a catharsis. He shares his plan with the officers who immediately run to the control panels, demanding extra regular updates on the flight parameters of the nearest ships and light fighters.

See, in space, there is no such term as "upwards" nor "downwards". Spacecrafts have artificial gravity modules installed inside, so one can walk on the floor like they're planetside, like floor is beneath and ceiling is above them. But outside? Outside you only have the distant stars and nearby planets to compare your coordinates and their derivatives to. If another spaceship flies "upside down" and "above" your own, and you transmit a message for them to climb (meaning that they should further the distance between your crafts), they will _crash_ right into you, because in their coordinate system "up" is where you are so haplessly situated.

Some people - those that spend too much time fighting in the atmosphere - sometimes get caught there as they neglect to keep tabs on directional data for _all_ possible directions.

There is one First Order commander not so far from them, one whose Interceptor ship is small and fast enough for this part of the battlefield that he prefers to dodge the heavy proton torpedoes sent his way.

According to their newborn plan, the Resistance ship's crew coordinate their Wings so they lure this guy close enough for the Resistance's warship to start firing at him instead of their main target. The mobile adversary starts dodging torpedoes; in the process the Interceptor almost bumps into a First Order bomber which in its stead tries to dodge _it_ and ends up crashing into the belly of the dreadnought, a.k.a. the main target, a.k.a. the "damned impostor".

The whole deck of the _Jedi Revan_ explodes in a collective roar of a miraculous victory as the _Revan_ of the Final Order fleet transforms into a large cloud of space dust.


	10. Niece

Ben climbs. He climbs as fast as he can, though every part of his body that hasn't gone numb screams in agony, and yet he feels he is not fast enough. He feels the dreadful moment when he's halfway out of the pit; the nauseating void in his chest that seizes him almost makes his fingers lose their grip; he actually slides down a couple of meters before clawing again at the cold, merciless rocks, because he can't let himself believe his senses until he sees everything with his own eyes. _Maybe she just fainted,_ he thinks frantically. _Maybe my mind isn't clear enough. Maybe I'm mistaken somehow, because if she were--_ If _it_ happened, the world would have crumbled, the stars would have burst and skies would have fallen, and none of it is to be seen, so she is alright, she has to be, she _has to--_

Her still form, her slender body clad in white amidst the dark is the first thing he sees when he raises his head above the edge. He has no strength left, but he wills his body into submission as he pulls himself onto the plateau, makes an attempt or two to stand up, and when he fails to walk, he crawls. What happens in the next several minutes that stretch on for years when he reaches her and cradles her lifeless body in his arms make up the most horrible moments of his life, and he is quite experienced in all things horrible.

"Help me," he mouths, looking around himself. _Please, help_ her. _Somebody. Anybody._

Nobody helps. Nobody hears. Nobody cares.

His chest does nothing on itself to breathe, so he has to make a conscious effort to inhale. He centers himself, just like Uncle Luke taught him before all things went wrong; he lets the Force flow through his body, _you are a vessel, let the Force do its thing, let it guide you._ He closes his eyes, he places his hand on her stomach, and when he feels there's not enough energy flowing _through_ him, he pours his own life into her. If nothing else, this should work, shouldn't it? They have the bond, they're a Dyad, they are two that are one, this all should mean something, _please, let her be alive, take me instead if you want one of us, let it be me and not her._

He opens his eyes.

Nothing happens.

Utterly exhausted and with too many broken bones, Ben just lays down with her in his arms and keeps still. 

***

People shout, and cheer, and laugh, and cry all around him, but Finn just can't celebrate with everyone when he has this lingering feel that - somehow - Rey is gone; he can't be sure about that, but he is restless. He obtains the coordinates that Rey transmitted as she was flying to Exegol, and as he is about to jump into the cockpit of a nearest craft with a hyperdrive, Rose is before him, asking what's on his mind. He tries to weave a quick lie to shrug her off, but Rose is not merely insistent, it feels like she's piercing through his brain. Not literally, of course, but still a bit scary. Hence they fly together. 

They see two ships upon arrival, a TIE fighter and an X-Wing. In the lair they pass the giant jars with several identical disfigured bodies, then the dead Knights of Ren, and eventually they come to a room where amidst carnage a man lies unmoving on the floor with a woman's - _Rey's_ \- body in his tight grip. His eyes are closed, hers are open. Finn and Rose study the pair; to say they're both shocked would be an understatement, especially when they identify the man as Kylo Ren. When Finn bends down and tries to pry his fingers off of Rey, the man suddenly rasps without opening his eyes, telling Finn to get the _ef_ off and leave him alone. The former stormtrooper feels his heart in his throat for a moment; he thought Ren was dead, too.

"We only want to take her body home," he manages after his breathing evens out a bit.

"And I just want to f###ing die. Come back in two days, I'll be done with by then," the other man replies tonelessly. "You can do with the bodies whatever you like then. You can throw mine back to the pit for all I care."

Rose casts a suspicious glance towards the pit. _Back?_ the look on her face says. Then she comes near Ren, sits with him, and talks quietly. She politely asks him to tell them what happened.

"Palpatine happened," is his answer, and for a while he is silent. Then he opens his eyes, and... they're red and wet.

He makes a quick and terse recount of what happened in the throne room (there's still too much information which needs clarification, but now is certainly not the time for any of this), and then he mutters, staring in the distance: "If she hadn't healed me then on the Death Star, maybe she would still have had some strength left. Maybe she would still have been alive."

Finn scowls as he is about to tell Ren that if he feels responsible, then he's _damn right_ in feeling that way, because if it were not for him, Hux, and Snoke--

"So," Rose goes on before he has a chance to put it in the words. "She healed you. After she stabbed you to death. You know, that actually means that she would want you to stay alive."

_Wait, what? Rose, whose side are you on?!_

"What does it matter now, when she is gone? Have you ever lost someone important in your life? You have, haven't you?" This is the first time Ren looks one of them in the eye since their arrival.

"I have," Rose says quietly. _Paige._ If Ren dares to push this button, Finn will kick his teeth out.

"Then you understand me." (Finn makes a long exhale.)

"I do," she bows her head and keeps silent for a while. "But I also understand that you should give it a try, keep yourself afloat, keep being alive. For her. Because she would have wanted it. Because we all want our loved ones to live and be happy, even when we're gone. So. Try. You can always change your mind later and throw yourself out through an airlock."

Finn doesn't understand what in the universe is happening before his very eyes now, but somehow... somehow Rose makes it work. She makes _kriffing Kylo Ren_ let go of Rey (with _words_ ) so Finn can carry her body. Behind him, he hears strange noises, like those of a struggle. His heart sinks; right, he's turned his back on this psycho who wasted no time to start choking Rose. He puts Rey on the ground, quickly but gently, then turns on his heels and pulls out his blaster in the same swift motion, ready to fight Ren, Palpatine, Snoke's ghost and anyone else who stands in his way.

No need, though. Ren can barely stand on his two. He is draped all over Rose who's making her best efforts to not fall under the darksider's weight. Finn really wants to tell her to leave the ex-Supreme Leader behind, but she glares at him, as if the request was written on his face, so instead he offers to exchange their burdens. Rose just nods.

They proceed in this fashion with a much smaller speed than the acceptable one for leaving such place is. As they pass the bodies in the jars, Ren jerks his head to glare at those but says nothing.

They take off, leaving two small ships and a deadly planet behind, and pass most of their flight in total silence. Once they start nearing the Resistance base they've left off, Rose loses her composure and is unable to stop crying for two hours straight, most of which she spends in Finn's tight embrace.

***

Later Ben will learn that this place is called the World Between Worlds. At this moment, for him it's just a junction at which he retrieves Rey, alive and breathing; in a heartbeat they emerge into the real world in the mirror cave ("Ach-To," a thought that is not his own enters his head, a gentle touch of a kindred mind - as opposed to all his talks with Snoke, even in those distant times when it was _my friend Snoke_ and not _my master_ ). Fully covered in some strange sort of slime (which, he notes for himself, does nothing to prevent them from kissing), they walk out... to meet the caretakers. Very displeased caretakers. ("They always are like this," Rey laughs in his mind.) 

Ben doesn't speak their language well enough, so he has to express himself slowly and with a lot of hand waving. 

"What did they want?" Rey whispers once the small creatures take to depart.

"They wanted to know who the-- who am I."

"And you said?.."

"That I am Luke Skywalker's nephew."

She halts, her eyes wide, but doesn't look at him; then, she nods and continues walking beside him.

At night, they go to take shelter in (according to Rey) the same hut that Luke has destroyed, - together; and the same caretakers appear again, yelling at Ben and waving their hands like they want to strike him. His answer consists of a couple of words, after which they fall silent and walk away. 

When they finally lay to sleep, Rey asks him what did they want ( _again_ ), and Ben has to explain they were scandalized by the fact they saw these two siblings (because Luke told them Rey is his niece himself) kissing and about to spend the night together; incest is against customs and laws of these people, especially in a sacred place like this one. 

"And you... What did you say?" Rey whispers with a half-smile, already drifting asleep.

"I told them what I dream of lately - and what Luke implied, even if without meaning so," he says, tucking her in and kissing her good-night, "that you're his niece by marriage."


	11. Palpatine's song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music: as in Blind Guardian - A Dark Passage  
> Lyrics: as follows  
> ...because Hansi Kursch has already sung for Palpatine (Solar Fragment - Inside the Circle).

(I feel cold)  
She's facing the darkness  
The light's gone away  
Deep in his throne room he said:  
"Ready the fleet  
There's one thing for sure  
The triumph of Shadow is near"  
Deep in his lair they sang:  
"We shall not rest  
Until all will be yours"

"All Galaxy's mine  
You can be sure  
Don't dare me"  
the Emperor screamed

 _[chorus:]_  
Smashed down Jedi  
I will not rest till it's done  
I have a master plan  
This girl will house my   
soul from now on

Rise or fall  
a Sith age starts

 _(Ben)_  
just wondering how  
in the darkness  
she's found her way  
to the right place  
child of Jakku  
self-taught Jedi  
upstart no-one  
unchosen hero  
she is The One  
opened my eyes  
made me feel life  
then drown in anguish  
I don't know how   
I should pay her  
I am the one   
in dismay now

 _(Author)_  
The war is lost  
hope has passed away  
The Emperor  
rules once again  
Dark is the hour  
but day shall come again

_[chorus]_

_(Ben)_  
Heal my wounds  
wash away all fear  
let courage be mine  
Dad, I feel like dying

 _(Author)_  
No word, no hail  
but he stood by her side  
When tale is told  
she's accused of weaving lies

 _(Palpatine)_  
Fly down to the pit  
and scream out for your kin  
Though no one's alive  
and no one would care  
Skywalker betrayed me  
You're seed of this line  
You'll pay  
for his sins with your life

_[chorus]_

_(Palpatine)_  
I conquered the Light  
Skywalkers are gone  
Extinguished the Light  
Revenge will be mine

 _(Choir)_  
Slowly moving on  
still we're flying on


	12. Saberstaff

"Just tell me, where were you standing?"

"Here... I think. This is a bad idea."

"No, it is not. And you turn around and throw it... Where exactly?"

"There. Maybe a bit to the left. I wasn't aiming."

"Too bad. It would've been easier then."

"No, it would not."

"Stop arguing."

"Stop running around. You are going to fall into the water."

"That's the intent."

"I regret the moment I said 'yes' to your 'teach me how to swim'."

"I've downloaded your skills, it was fast and you have no right to complain."

"You lied to me about the reasons."

"I didn't tell you that I'm not going to retrieve it, so no, I didn't lie to you. Here, hold my boots."

"I hope you know it's called lying by omission."

"Yeah, that's a very interesting topic that we'll discuss once I'm done."

A loud splash.

A curse muttered under breath as he quickly removes his own boots and shirt.

A louder splash.

"Kriff, what do you think you're doing?!"

"Serving as your emergency escape plan in case your _downloaded_ swimming skills prove to be insufficient."

"So you're actually helping me. Despite telling me that you won't. Because my idea is stupid."

"I'm not. I threw it out for a reason. I'm here because the girl I want to keep safe doesn't pay enough attention to her own safety."

"You're just afraid to acknowledge that your swimming skills I've borrowed are far from perfect, and my untimely death by drowning will be on your consciousness."

"You grew up on a desert planet and now, after some cheating, you're expecting yourself to swim like a fish in water, don't you?"

"I grew up in a desert with no lightsabers in my vicinity, and look how it all turned out. So. How about you stop wasting breath and, I don't know, call it?"

"Call it. Like what, calling a pet? Or do you think I had a commlink installed in the crossguard?"

"Wait. I think I feel it. Stay here!"

"R-- damn it."

It appears her intuition was right. She emerges victorious, with a wide grin on her face.

Later, she crouches at her workbench, spare parts lying around with no semblance of order. There are pieces of Anakin's disassembled saber, the biggest of Kylo's kyber's shards; they bicker incessantly about exhaust vents and instability and the symbolism, too. She says she's read that the crystal is the heart of the Jedi and his heart is hers so it's all right, at which he returns that it's his evil alter ego's heart and it's wrong - she says the symbolism is in accepting the dark inside you, starts rambling about the balance stuff (he can't _not_ roll his eyes). She says she'd heard some voice (she thinks it was Anakin) who said she would bring the Balance back, just like he did. 

"Ah, he must have meant that time when he killed a whole temple of younglings."

"I thought Vader was your role model."

"Things have changed!"

They continue snapping at each other like that until she proudly produces her new staff, a childish smile on her face. She hits the ignition buttons, and both blades, the blue one and the red one, that emerge from the ends of the staff shine bright, even and steady.

He makes a quip, something along the lines of "Because two swords are cooler than one, is that it?", but deep inside he knows that if she asked, he would have summoned every Skywalker ghost to get her all the damned lightsabers that ever belonged to the members of his family tree.


	13. I hate sand

It is a cold night.

Rey wakes up, panting and cursing wildly, and relays her dream to the man lying on a nearby bunk. It was the worst of all her nightmares: one where she never managed to save him and went to dwell on a desert planet, all alone again; it was a planet where your dearest friends become enslaved, and the ones meant to become renowned heroes gaze beyond the horizon but never make a step forward when the Destiny calls them. There she buried the sacred weapons of her confidant's relatives; they were wrapped in white cloth - both her and the things she put in the sand; it felt like she was burying _infants,_ once pulsing with life and now but cold inanimate objects only fit to be hidden away from the sight inside the dry planet's bosom. Even in a dream, it felt wrong enough that Rey wanted to cry and wail; instead, when a woman came near and asked for her name, she smiled and said with no small amount of pride: "Rey Skywalker".

And that was the moment at which she woke up, out of breath, sweating, trembling, heart racing, and couldn't soothe herself until a considerable time passed, his arms wrapped tightly around her shaking body.

"So you don't like the Skywalker name?" Ben murmurs into her hair some time later, when she's come to her senses and feels calm enough for a bit of a quip exchange.

"It's not that I don't like it, it's that I don't want to bear it."

"It's a common name. At least around Tatooine."

"Yeah, try to explain that to everyone around the Galaxy asking me if I'm Luke Skywalker's kinswoman," she huffs.

"Tell them you're his niece."

"Funnily enough, those fishwives from Ach-To think I am one."

"Fi-- Ah, the caretakers. Do they? Mind to tell me why?"

Rey makes a disapproving noise at the memory still vivid in her mind, then sighs and makes a confession. Not that he is the one to judge her in such matters.

"I, uh... Managed to wreak some havoc on their island, so they demanded to know who is this dreadful property-destroying girl, walking around with that glowing stick of hers. Luke then told them I'm his niece."

It seems that Ben's only reaction is a soft chuckle, but when she pulls her face away from his shoulder, Rey sees his eyebrows have almost disappeared into his hairline.

"He was probably telling them stories about a particularly troublesome offspring of his sibling just as you were landing," he supplies, trying his best not to laugh.

"Thank you. I know you love me very much."

"I do." After a brief awkward pause, he offers jokingly: "So, Rey Solo it is?"

"Yeah, Rey Ren sounds stupid," she plays along with the most serious face she can muster. "Could go with some really long and complex family name, like Skywalker Solo Organa Scavenger or something, but that would take too much time to adjust to. And to pronounce. And it sounds pretentious, too. Also five times more words in my full name than I've had before... It's just too much. Not to mention that _this_ would certainly not be a common name, even on Tatooine."

"Agreed," he replies simply, and Rey thinks she sees him blushing-- or maybe it's just a trick of light.

They shake hands, saying "Rey Solo" in unison, and go back to sleep.

She dreams of sitting on a beach; before her is a calm sea, the waves lapping lazily at the shoreline; behind her is her house, surrounded by vast amounts of greenery; beside her is someone she wants to spend her whole life with.

Rey sleeps well.


End file.
